Field Reporter and open-source router junkie, Joel Krauska, interviewed Jessica Simpson about her recent divorce from ex-boy-band member and TV’s Newlyweds co-star, Nick Lachey, when the topic of open-source routers came up. Many Router God readers have asked about open-source routers, so we posted a portion of the interview here for their enjoyment and edification:
 Jessica, getting excited thinking about using PCs as routers. |
JK: So—you’re saying you’re free to date again? JS: Well, I would start dating, because I’m free and all….but I’ve discovered open-source routers. They’re so hot!!! I’ve been spending all my new-found free time with them! I can hardly tear myself away! I really find I don’t have any time now for anything that’s not connected to open-source networking in general. JK: Really? Wow. That’s interesting. Did I tell you I worked for a networking company myself? It’s called Vyatta. We do open-source routers. |
JS: That’s amazing! I just started working with that software like a week ago! I just think it’s so cool that you can take normal PC hardware and turn it into a fabulous router. I mean, it’s just so great—like, I was upgrading the servers at, you know, my web site? And it’s like, suddenly I had a big pile of left-over hardware! Well, what am I supposed to do with that?? Suddenly they’re, like, all spilling out of my walk-in shoe closet, cause the space in my other closets was full.
JK: Wow. That sounds like a problem, all right. So what did you do?
JS: Well, originally, I was going to start learning, like, AJAX and Web 2.0, you know? But doing websites was just so dull. You know, I’m really a network girl at heart. So you can imagine how excited I got when I started thinking about using all that hardware as routers!
JK: Yes, I can see how exciting, that would be, all right. So, Jessica, why did you need a router?
JS: Well, with the divorce, you know, Nick gets all the furniture. Okay, I mean, that was the deal. But I didn’t know he was going to walk off with our Cisco 2610! I mean, who would expect that?? What a jerk. Especially since I’m the one with my CCNA. Nick was always a Juniper guy. I guess it just goes to show how you don’t know a person. Of course, I went ahead and got a T1 connection at my new place—I mean, it’s not like I’m helpless or something—but without my old Cisco, I’m sort of, well, stuck.
JK: Wow. Very upsetting.
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JS: Yes, but then, I’m like, “Hey! I can just turn one of those servers in my closet into a router!” They’d go so much great with my new décor, anyway, since my old servers are all this beautiful sort of pinky-rose shade, and I picked up this amazing carpet on Rodeo Drive that will match them perfectly. Much better than that old blue box—and with open source, it will be so easy! That’s the great part. JK: Pinky-rose, eh? Sounds very nice. JS: Yes, AND they have my photo etched in them. Totally cool. |
Jessica’s skirt is made entirely from commodity PC CPUs. |
JK: And these are just normal PC servers?
JS: Yep, that’s it! With open source you can take normal commodity Intel or AMD servers and turn them into basic routers very easily.
JS: Even so, it took me a little while to get the hang of it. At first I was plugging in my T1 line and it wasn’t working at all. Like I just couldn’t connect to the WAN, you know? But it turns out that I was plugging it into an Ethernet port, can you believe how silly?? –It’s just like the whole Chicken of the Sea thing: it’s not really chicken, it’s tuna. And a T1 isn’t really Ethernet, it’s a T1. See. It’s like totally different? Once I got a T1 card, it was all okay. I mean, I couldn’t get a pink T1 card, and I was bummed about that at first. But then I realized that the T1 card goes inside, so you can’t see it anyway. But still—there’s so much choice in hardware, who knew you couldn’t get a pink T1 card?
JK: That is surprising, all right. But in the end, you managed to get it going?
JS: Oh yeah, of course. And it was way cheaper than replacing the Cisco that stinky old Nick took. And it handles my traffic really well.
JK: Is that so?
JS: Well, most of the time I’m just downloading videos of me — Have you seen my newest one? — but yeah, it works great!
JK: How about software? Is there lots of choice there?
JS: Oh, lots. I started out using NetBSD, because I liked the little red BSD Daemon guy—so cute!! But then I saw that little penguin in that adorable tux!! I was a goner. I do think that penguins are cuter than daemons, don’t you?
JK: Er…
JS: Plus, they don’t have horns, so it’s easier to put darling little hats on them.
JK: Er… what about routing protocols? Did you find the routing protocols you needed?
JS: Well, duh. I like playing with BGP, OSPF and RIP as much as the next person. There are lots of open-source routing protocol suites to choose from, silly. I started using Zebra — I just love all those stripes — but I found they weren’t keeping up with a newer suite called Quagga. Then a couple of the girls suggested that I try XORP.
JK: XORP? That’s what we use at Vyatta.
JS: You know, it took me a while to learn to pronounce “XORP.” But some nice man spent a lot of time helping me with it, and now it just feels natural. Was that how it was with you?
 Jessica counts a CCNA among her many endowments. |
JK: Er… JS: Anyway, XORP and Quagga are just routing stacks running on top of UNIX, so I still get to use my UNIX skills. A lot. I’m glad about that. I feel that if I let my UNIX skills get stale I’d just be, well—letting myself go. Don’t you think? JK: And how do you find these routing stacks? JS: Oh, they’re very usable, and quite mature. Not at all like Nick, you know? JK: I suppose so. But I’m curious, how deeply do you get into these software packages? JS: Well, isn’t that the best thing about open source? If you don’t like something, you can just open up the source code and start hacking. You know, like hacking in the good sense, not like hacking in the bad sense. |
JK: Have you been doing much—er—hacking?
JS: Well, you know, I’ve always hated the look of most “show ip bgp” commands. Don’t you? It’s just so—blah. I wanted to liven it up a little—you know, add a little color and spice. So, I made my BGP peers show red when they’re down. It’s so much more exciting now—like real-life drama! Plus, it goes great with my NOC décor. I have different color sets for each of my BGP peers, it’s very colorful.
JK: You sound busy. Do you ever get lonely with all your hacking?
JS: Oh no! For example, when I was hacking up BGP I spent a lot of time on Internet relay chat with the some protocol developers.
JK: Were they a big help?
JS: Were they ever! There was this nice guy who taught me how to say “XORP.” Also, after I made my BGP hack, they said they’d consider putting my change back into the main source tree. It’s like I’m part of the whole community!!
JK: That does sound good.
JS: Well, of course, not everyone can be a hacker like me. But still, when you can look right into the code, it’s like—it’s like—well like having the ultimate manual! I mean, I thought I had a handle on BGP after reading Courtney Love’s Router God article (<giggle>Hi, Court!) But whoa. Looking directly into the XORP code it, like, blew me away! I mean, the BGP decision process: how complicated is THAT? But now I understand it so much better. And I think that’s the main thing, don’t you?
JK: It sounds like you really like having the source.
JS: Well, what about security? People are always trying to break in to my machines. I don’t know what they think they’ll find—maybe they think they’ll find sexy photos like Paris Hilton had on her cell phone.
I wouldn’t put those online, duh! But now I can see the root cause of a security hole immediately. I can even fix it myself. And you know, you want to fix those things right away. You don’t want, say, a buffer overflow. That could lead to the router version of a wardrobe malfunction. If you know what I mean.
JK: Sure fixing all sorts of bugs is much easier when you have the source.
JS: And another thing I like is that open source is that it stays available. Remember Pluris? Hey, Pluris sort of rhymes with Paris! I bet she never thought of that before. Anyway, Pluris had very cool software a few years ago, but they went out of business. Now their code is probably locked up in a vault somewhere, and we’ll never see it again. And, you know, well, after Nick, I—well, I guess I feel a bit vulnerable. I want to know that my source will always be available. I want to know that it will always be there for me. I just need that in my life right now.
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JK: Those are great reasons. But I don’t think most network admins want to get to that level. JS: Well, not everyone has my brains and computer skills. I mean, we’re all different, right? Installing a Linux router isn’t that hard—it’s a lot like being a UNIX sys admin, and everyone knows how easy that is. But still, it’s not everybody cup of tea. I think more people would go there if they knew there was an open-source router software distribution that looks and acts like a normal router. |
Jessica ponders what colors she should use for her BGP peers. |
JK: Well, of course. That’s what Vyatta does.
JS: Exactly! I’ve been using their stuff for a while now. I always remember their name, because it rhymes with “Miata”, such cute little cars. And “Vyatta” is less confusing to pronounce than “XORP”!
JK: So, you like Vyatta?
JS: Oh yes. It’s not just that they put together a full system. They also have support. I love the idea that when I’m struggling with a bad BGP config, I can just call and get help. I mean, I know Courtney would help me if she could, but she’s got problems of her own, right? It’s nice to know that you can just make a call.
JK: That’s right. You can get commercial support for open-source software and you can run it on any hardware you want. Even on pink servers.
JS: And maybe one day they’ll have pink T1 cards, too.
JK: So, um, did you say that you were thinking you would starting to date again? We could maybe.. hack router code together?? The source is open, and all.
JS: Well, maybe… a good hacker that knows networks and UNIX is hard to find.
JK: What’s your uptime?
JS: You show me yours first…
JK:
Welcome to Vyatta on vyatta-sanmateo-1
root@vyatta-sanmateo-1> show version
Revision: 0.7 (2505M)
Image built: Tue May 30 14:34:50 PDT 2006
System booted: Fri Jun 2 06:42:12 PDT 2006
Uptime: 14:28:39 up 75 days, 22:46, load average: 0.16, 0.03, 0.01
root@vyatta-sanmateo-1>